Breaking news- Steven Gerrard has been found innocent only because he had slept with the entire jury. The jury, made entirely of female Liverpool fans was offered an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to act as a “goal-post” for the English footballer in return for finding the star not guilty on charges of affray.

The soccer star was delighted, as not only was he a free man, he also had the opportunity to savour the many flavours offered to him during this stressful period. The women, who were promised the world, now regret their decision as “he didn’t last very long” according to one of the jury members.

Rumors have also surfaced that one of the ladies have actually caught the soccer star’s interest and DJ McGee has actually agreed to play at their wedding should the relationship get that far, “its fine with me as long as Steven doesn’t choose the music”, says the disk jockey.